LOTF Ch. 8 Gift for the Darkness viewpoint: Simon

Am I crazy?

I think I am going crazy. This island is driving all of us crazy. What has it done to me? What has it done to all of us? The group has split up. Jack apparently has had enough of Ralph. It was either him as leader or he's gone. He's gone, but with alot of other big ones too. They followed him after the meeting, tracing his path into the forest. I could tell Ralph didn't take notice. He was too busy getting the fire ready. Piggy had this great idea to have the fire down here, and not on the mountain where the supposedly "beastie" was. I had had enough of this. The beastie isn't an actual animal or demon or whatever everyone else thinks it is. It's ourselves! We're going crazy on this island! I remember the prefects at my school, trying to keep everyone in line. I feel like Ralph is trying to step up to this job. Not in a bossy way, but in a survival leadership way. He's so set on keeping the signal fire going. To Jack it's like taboo. All he cares about is hunting. Hunting hunting hunting. Speaking of Jack, and hunting... I escaped from the beach where Ralph and everyone who had stayed were. I had to prove that the beastie wasn't real. I walked around for a while, went to my special place, then I heard the hunters coming. I hid, scared to think about what they might do to me if they found me. They had caught a pig! I watched disgusted as they reenacted the hunt as Jack paunched the poor pig. Jack started to speak. He said to everyone that they would leave something for the beastie. He said maybe it would leave them alone if they did this. I thought it was like some kind of offering or sacrifice. The beastie isn't even real! It's just us, coming up with fears in our head and then turning violent. I froze though when I saw what Jack had done. A demure pile of rocks had been turned into some kind of offering stone. Jack had piled all the pigs guts on the rock. And stuck in a crack, on long piece of wood, was the pigs head. It seemed to smile demonically down at the group and at me. The hunters had gone silent and uneasy. Jack whispered something I couldn't hear and then they left. I didn't care though. I was transfixed on the pigs head. Flies swirled around it, servants to the Lord of the Flies. I crept out of my hiding place. I stared at the pigs severed head, blood dripping down the wood. It seemed to talk to me to me. I don't know if I was having a seizure. It's all a blur. It told me to leave. To go back. I didn't listen. The voice was like a drug. I had to keep listening or else I couldn't live. It told me that everyone would kill me. That I was going crazy. Was I? Am I? Is there a beastie? I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. The Lord of the Flies has commanded me to his side, and I stayed at the clearing didn't I? Am I giving in to the violence? Am I one Jack's hunters now? I feel dizzy, lightheaded... and the world is going black...